Sky Fans – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Complaint!

Me: What else is new?

Doodlebug: It’s hot, Lady Human.

Me: Yes, I noticed that.

Sweetie: The sky fans aren’t pulling their weight.

Me: The ceiling fans are turned on full blast.

Sweetie: Not good enough!

Doodlebug: We need more sky fans. There! And there! And there! And…

Me: Sorry. There’s no more room for more ceiling fans. We’ll just have to make do.

Sweetie: Make do? Is that another human failure thing?

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Singing Away Summer – Conversations with Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Sweetie: It was nice of you, Lady Human, to invite me out here while you were cleaning.

Me: Well, you looked bored and Doodlebug and MoonCat are napping.

Sweetie: I like it outside. Sometimes. For a very short time.

Me: It has been super hot, but you are my only true sunbather.

Sweetie: One thing I don’t like…that sound.

Me: Which one?

Sweetie: The one like toenails tapping nonstop. Like one of the Little Human’s wind-up toys.

Me: Oh, the locusts. Cicadas. This is their time. Summer. Heat.

Sweetie: Why do they make so much noise?

Me: I guess because they are singing away summer.

Sweetie: I wish they would stop. Are locusts tougher than bulldogs?

Me: Nope.

Sweetie: Then they’re not a problem then, are they? I’ll take care of this! Hey, locusts! Quiet!

Me: I don’t think they’re listening to you.

Sweetie: I’ll make ’em listen. I’ll just throw my bulldog weight around. Where are they?

Me: Up in the trees.

Sweetie: Cowards.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Summertime Dining – Conversations with Sweetie and Doodlebug

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Where is supper being served?

Me: On the patio.

Sweetie: No, thank you. I’ll have mine inside if you don’t mind. Or even if you do.

Me: You used to eat on the patio all the time. I’ve noticed you ignore your food out there lately.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you don’t eat outside. How come?

Me: Well…

Sweetie: I’ll tell you how come.

Doodlebug: Oh boy, here we go.

Sweetie: It’s nasty outside in the hot. And those pesky flying pesks…

Me: Flies.

Sweetie: If you say so…those critters want to put their dirty little feet on my food. So I’ll have mine inside, thank you.

Me: How about you, Doodle?

Doodlebug: Food is food, hot weather or cold. I say, bring it on! I haven’t let a pesky fly carry off a single bite of my food yet. Not about to start now. Let’s eat!

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Sunsitting – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Why won’t Sweetie come inside? It’s hot.

Me: I know. I’m going to make her come in now.

MoonCat: Meow. I never go outside. It’s always too hot or too cold. Even when it’s just right.

Me: Sweetie, you have to come inside now.

Sweetie: I can’t. I’m sunsitting.

Me: You mean sunbathing.

Sweetie: No, sunsitting. I am taking care of the sun. Like when humans take care of little humans.

Me: I think the sun will be alright without you. It’s been there for a long, long time.

Sweetie: But the sun is lonely. It’s up there all by itself.

Me: Mmmm…it may seem that way, but it’s really not.

Sweetie: It needs me. Wait. Okay. I’m too hot now. Shame on you, Sun. No more sunsitting with you. I’m going inside. Oh, but I’ll see you tomorrow, same time, same place.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Turn Off the Heater – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Once again, something is wrong.

Sweetie: Lady Human! You forgot to turn your heater machine off!

Me: The heater is not on. It has not been on for months and months.

Doodlebug: Then humans must have fouled something else up.

Me: Oh, no doubt.

MoonCat: Meow. They are complaining because it is hot and their silly bulldog faces are steamy.

Me: That’s why I have set fans all around and the ceiling fans are going full blast along with the A/C window unit.

Sweetie: Not good enough.

Me: Well. I can add some ice cubes to your water.

Doodlebug: Yes, do that, please. What flavors do you have?

Sweetie: Make mine cheese flavored.

MoonCat: Make mine tuna cubes.

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.