I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Is the sky planning to spit on us again, Lady Human? I need an umbrella hat.
Me: Such things do exist, but I can’t imagine you keeping it on your head for more than a second.
Doodlebug: It’s not gonna be that bad.
MoonCat: Run between the raindrops. As for me, I’ll stay under the best umbrella, the roof. Better than any umbrella hat.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, I am mad at the sky.
Me: Is this about the rain again?
Sweetie: It spit in my eye! I think it did that on purpose!
Me: Now why would it do that?
Sweetie: Because it’s big and full of water and it can.
Me: Yesterday you thought it was crying on you. What changed your mind?
Sweetie: Its aim is too good!
MoonCat: Better get ready. The spitting is about to start again in a little while.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Right Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, the sky dropped tears in my eyes.
Me: Rain. Those drops were rain. You’ve seen rain lots of times.
Sweetie: Not when it’s in my eyes. Then I can’t see anything.
Doodlebug: How come no sky drops fell in my eyes?
MoonCat: You didn’t look up. Common sense. Which I understand is a challenge for bulldogs.
©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Where is that growling coming from? Someone is treading on my domain!
Sweetie: Take charge, Lady Human! Strange bulldogs are barking in the sky!
MoonCat: Meow! Oh, no! Now they’re coming from all directions!
Doodlebug: Let me at ’em! I’ll deal with them! Nobody threatens my family!
Me: Everybody just simmer down. There are no bulldogs in the sky.
Sweetie: Of course there are! I can hear them. Bulldog grumbling has a certain sound like nothing else.
Me: Yes, but what you hear is rolling thunder.
Sweetie: Exactly! The thunder of a million bulldogs running toward us.
Me: Take a glance outside. What do you see?
Doodlebug: Uh, sky water.
Me: Yes, rain. Only rain.
Sweetie: I hate sky water. I’ll take a sky bulldog pack anytime.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Sweetie and I am patient.
Me: Patient for what? What are you waiting for?
Sweetie: Rain.
Me: Then you’re going to have a long wait. Come on back inside.
Sweetie: Nope. I am sitting under a cloud. That means rain.
Me: There is no cloud, Sweetie.
Sweetie: Yes, there is. See! It’s blocking the sun.
Me: That’s not a cloud. That’s an awning that Tall Man put up so we could sit out here a little.
Sweetie: Cloud. Awning. Same difference.
Me: Not really. An awning will never rain.
Sweetie: Then Tall Man will just have to try harder. I know! He can put the water tube on the fake cloud and I can turn the nob that lets the water out, just like I used to do to fill my puppy pool.
Me: NO!!! I mean…leave the nob turning to the humans.
Sweetie: But I know how. It’s not hard. I just put my mouth over it like…
Me: That’s all right. Let’s go in now.
Sweetie: Well, okay, but it’s no problem. Any time you want a fake rain cloud, just let me know.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: And I am all wet.
Me: Sorry. When I checked the forecast, this rain was in it.
Doodlebug: I just shook it off.
Me: Yes, I know. You literally shook it off.
Sweetie: What are we supposed to do, Lady Human, when you mess up the weather?
Me: I don’t schedule the weather. But I guess you could try running between the raindrops.
Sweetie: Okay. Here. Let me shake my raindrops off and see you run between them.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 