The Stomach Clock – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Uh, Lady Human, what’s happening?

Baby and Bud: Chirp. Tweet.

Sweetie: Why are the birds eating now?

Me: It’s their evening meal. You watch. They do that every day about this time.

Sweetie: Do they tell time from that clock with the moving sticks the way you do?

Me: No, more like they use their stomach clock.

Doodlebug: I want one of those.

Me: Y’all each have one already.

Doodlebug: Huh. I don’t feel it.

Me: You feel it four times a day. Morning. Lunchtime. Afternoon. Evening.

Sweetie: Why don’t the little clock sticks tickle?

MoonCat: Lady Human, they believe every single thing you tell them. Now they believe they have physical clocks in their bellies. That’s just sad. Please, please be careful what you tell them next. No daggers in the eyes. No fire-breathing noses. Beliefs carry consequences. And there’s no telling where bulldog consequences may end up.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Wait for It! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Here we go again.

Me: Sweetie, why are you staring at the clock?

Sweetie: Shhh! I’m waiting for the moving sticks on it to tell me when it’s time.

Me: Time for what?

Sweetie: I don’t know. I’ll know when it tells me.

Me: Clocks won’t tell you things…

Sweetie: Didn’t you say that clocks tell the time?

Me: Yeah, but…okay, you look at a clock and read its face for the time.

Sweetie: I thought you read books. Now you read faces, too?

MoonCat: Read my face.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Timetable – Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: You have dodged my question, Lady Human. What is time? And what does it have to do with those boxes in your hands or those circles on the wall with moving sticks stuck on them?

Doodlebug: I do like the one with the skinny red moving stick that goes around and around and around…

Sweetie: Yes, I know. Tedious.

Me: You know how the sky gets dark and then it gets light again. Well, people measure time on earth by how fast the earth turns in front of the sun. So if a clock says 8 a.m., we have a good idea how much light there is left in the day.

Sweetie: So the clock is time.

Me: No, clocks measure time here on earth and the time it tells is different depending on where you are.

Sweetie: Tedious.

Me: You have no idea.

MoonCat: Yeah, I have an idea, just by listening to y’all talk about it.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Tyranny of the Clock – Part 2 – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, you all have fouled things up again.

Me: Whatever do you mean?

MoonCat: Meow. Dinnertime. Late. Fix it. Now.

Me: Well, I’ve been going by the time change, so, yes, I guess mealtimes seem late the last few days.

Doodlebug: Seem? There’s no seem about it. Where’s the food?

Me: Since it’s been getting a little darker earlier and the time changed, you all have been eating at different times so…

Sweetie: I’m not talking about what WE have been doing. I’m talking about what YOU have been doing. How come meals are late?

MoonCat: Meow. We have been patient.

Sweetie: Don’t tell me. Let me guess. You humans have been fooling around with the sun again. Telling us when it will rise and when it will set.

Doodlebug: Yeah, as though you know!

MoonCat: I know this. Hungry. Food. Give it. NOW!

Outright 2023 H. J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Bulldog Schedule – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Teatime is late, Lady Human. This is not a complaint, but it really is a complaint.

Me: It’s not nearly time for that yet.

Sweetie: Bulldog schedules are never wrong. Our stomachs are finely tuned instruments, far better than your clocks.

Me: I’ve noticed that y’all have been moving mealtimes around the last few weeks. Is it because the weather is cooling off?

Doodlebug: Bulldogs don’t respond to the weather any more than we respond to your human clocks.

MoonCat: Meow! Time to eat!

Me: Oh, not you, too.

MoonCat: Not me, too! Me first!

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Tyranny of the Clock – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

And I am Sweetie, Queen of all dogs everywhere.

MoonCat: Meow.

Me: Why haven’t y’all eaten your food?

Doodlebug: It was served way too early.

Me: I brought it at the same time I bring your afternoon meal every day. 3 p.m. The clock doesn’t lie.

Sweetie: Clock? What is “clock” and why is she telling me when to eat?

Me: A clock tells time in hours, minutes, and seconds.

MoonCat: Meow. Sounds complicated.

Doodlebug: Yeah, my stomach tells me when to eat. Simple.

Me: Well, the clock tells me when to do things. It’s a tyrant.

Sweetie: Another weird human word. What is a tyrant?

Me: A tyrant is an oppressor that orders everybody else around.

Doodlebug: Oh, why didn’t you say so? I understand now.

Sweetie: Yeah, Lady Human! It’s a perfect description of you. You’re a clock!

Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.