Chicken Guardian – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, I have been giving this possum situation some thought.

Me: Uh-oh.

Sweetie: The chickens need a guardian and I’m it.

Doodlebug: What about me? I’m the King.

Sweetie: Sure, if you want to sit with me outside the Chicken House all night every night.

Doodlebug: Well, let’s not be unreasonable.

MoonCat: No, let’s never be that. Which is why I’ll maintain my cushy bed inside and happily welcome all reasonable bulldogs back inside when they tire of guard duty after ten minutes.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Oh, Possum, Not Again! – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human, there is a peculiar scent on the air. It’s…it’s…

Sweetie: It’s POSSUM! Not in my yard!

Me: I don’t think it’s here right now. Probably went after chicken eggs last night.

Sweetie: No! Can’t have my chickens or their eggs!

Me: Your chickens?

Sweetie: My ground, my chickens. This is bulldog territory.

Doodlebug: Possums can’t just waltz in here like they own the place. Who do they think they are?

MoonCat: Well done, possum. Anything that can irritate bulldogs this much earns my admiration.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

As the Crow Flies – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: BIG BIRDS, LADY HUMAN! HEADS DOWN! RUN!

Me: Hold on, girl! No big deal! Just a couple of crows.

Doodlebug: Yeah, Sweetie, don’t be a scaredy cat. Lady Human, if they start heading back this way, you’ll warn me, won’t you?

Me: What’s the problem? Y’all have seen crows before.

Doodlebug: But those are the biggest…

Sweetie: And widest and the wildest…

MoonCat: Who came up with that insulting term “scaredy cat”? Why not scaredy dog? You don’t see me running and hiding. Of course, you don’t see me prancing around outside where the wild birds fly either.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

In a Bulldog Minute – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: Come on, y’all. Let’s move it along. We should be able to get this done in a New York minute.

Sweetie: What is a New York minute?

Me: Just an expression for a short, quick time. There’s a place called New York and they have a reputation for moving along at a fast pace.

Doodlebug: So do those clocks you humans love with the long stick hands move faster there?

Me: No, actually they don’t.

Sweetie: I’ll stick with moving along in a bulldog minute. It’s more my style.

Doodlebug: Me, too.

MoonCat: Welcome to bulldog time down south.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Pick It Clean – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, the loud birds are being loud again.

Me: They’re just calling for a new millet spray. They picked the last one clean.

Doodlebug: What’s the big deal? We pick our bowls clean every time.

Sweetie: Then I want a new millet spray, too.

Me: Really? You want one of these?

Sweetie: Ew! Yuck! No! Take it away!

Baby and Bud: Ack! More! More! More!

MoonCat: Ack! Less! Less! Less!

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

The Twitching of Noses – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: What’s going on, y’all?

Sweetie: You tell us. You’re the human in the room.

Me: Your noses are twitching to beat the band.

Doodlebug: What is a band and why would I want to beat it?

Me: I mean you are obviously scenting something and, poor inadequate nose that I have, I don’t smell a thing out of the ordinary.

Sweetie: Someone is cooking outside.

Doodlebug: A human is walking with a dog nearby.

Sweetie: The chickens have laid their eggs.

Doodlebug: You have put on clean clothes.

MoonCat: Yes, I particularly noticed that last one. Thank you so much.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Let’s Get This Straight – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Me: This here is not right. This belongs over there on the floor, not hanging halfway off that stand. It’s a mess waiting to happen.

Sweetie: Let me get this straight. I put my things where I want them and you come along, Lady Human, and foul it all up. Well, thank you very much. Humph!

Doodlebug: I like it better the new way.

Sweetie: You have no imagination.

MoonCat: I do. I imagine that’s one less thing to fall on my precious head.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Stuff and Nonsense – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, there was an awful lot of noise last night and not the kind I enjoy because I didn’t make any of it.

Me: Yeah, a lot of people gunning their engines, revving up and speeding down the roads. All stuff and nonsense.

Sweetie: I like stuff.

Doodlebug: I like nonsense.

Me: I know y’all do. But this was stuff and nonsense that keeps interrupting sound sleep. I can do without that.

MoonCat: Have earplugs for cats been invented yet? Because I could sure use a pair. Stuff and nonsense blockers.

©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.