Tight Spaces – Conversations with Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Me: Sweetie, what do you think you’re doing?

Sweetie: Just trying new things. Look how well I fit in here.

Me: No, you don’t. We’ve talked about this before. There isn’t enough room for you to squeeze your head between that heavy chair and that table. There just isn’t.

Sweetie: Are you calling me fat?

Me: No, I’m calling you what you are. A big-boned bulldog of the English variety, and you can’t fit in any ole tight space you choose.

Sweetie: Watch me! Mmmm…hmmph!

Me: See what I mean?

Sweetie: But if I try hard enough, I should be able to fit anywhere!

Me: Not if it’s physically impossible. And why would you even want to?

Sweetie: It’s a bulldog thing. I’ll just keep trying.

Me: That’s what I was afraid of.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

It’s in the Can – Conversations with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: What’s on the menu?

Me: Pretty much the same as always.

Doodlebug: Don’t tell me. Let me guess. Little crunchy brown balls and your attempt at cooking.

Sweetie: Where’s the good stuff?

Me: What good stuff?

Sweetie: You know. The delicious softie food that comes off the round metal thing that digs it out of the other round metal thing.

Me: You mean the big spoon with the canned food?

Doodlebug: Everything’s better if it comes from a can.

MoonCat: Cat wisdom from down through the years. I’m glad the bulldogs have caught up.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Dissatisfied Customers – Conversations with Doodlebug and Sweetie

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. What is the meaning of this? I have never been treated so shabbily in my life!

Me: What’s the problem now?

Doodlebug: There is some kind of muck in my food bowl.

Sweetie: Back to a one star review.

Me: We’ve been over this. This is not a hotel or a restaurant.

Sweetie: Good thing. You wouldn’t be in business by sundown.

Me: The “muck” in your bowl is fresh homemade food, made just for y’all.

Doodlebug: I beg your pardon. Our standards are higher than this.

Me: Higher standards? Like when I caught you trying to eat your own…

Sweetie: Don’t bring that up, Lady Human. That’s a painful memory. And a foul smell.

Copyright 2024 H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.