I am Stella, Queen of the Old English Bulldogges. Raindrops keep falling on my head…and on my back…and on my legs…and on my feet.
Me: Yeah, and on my head…and my back…and my legs…and my feet, too.
Stella: Well, what do you plan to do about it?
Me: The rain? Nothing. Just wait it out.
Stella: No! What do you plan to do about my wet head… and wet back…and wet legs…and wet feet? I need a rain hat. Those sorts of things exist, don’t they?
Stella: I know you have rain boots. I see them right there. But do you have a rain hat I can borrow?
Me: I have some hats somewhere. I have my broad-brim black felt hat, but that’s not perfect in a heavy rain. I have a cowboy hat. That’s better. The felt is tighter and it’s shaped so as to make the rain roll off the brim and down away from my neck and back.
Stella: That’s great for you, Lady Human. You stand upright on your two hind legs.
Me: I don’t have hind legs. I only have two legs. They are…front legs.
Stella: Yeah, okay. But I am a bulldog. Your cowboy hat would drain wet all down my back. Next!
Me: I bought some dog galoshes for winter use, but…they turned out to be too small for bulldogs and they were the largest size the company had.
Stella: So, I get stuck with wet feet? We have a big rain event going on here.
Me: Yeah, this is what people in the old days called a frog strangler.
Stella: Frogs are strangling on the rain? That’s horrible!
Me: No, it’s an exaggeration. Like a lot of our old sayings.
Stella: Do frogs like the rain?
Me: Yeah, I think they probably do.
Stella: Can we ask them where they get their rain hats and boots?
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