Curtailed – Conversations with the Big Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.

Sweetie: Lady Human, how come me and Doodle don’t have long tails?

Me: A century and more of bulldog breeding took that away from y’all. But you can still wag what you’ve got.

Sweetie: Ugh! Humans again, deciding what we can and can’t have! Not fair.

Baby and Bud: Chirrrup! We keep our long tail feathers!

Me: Not all human decisions are…

Doodlebug: Wise?

Sweetie: Intelligent?

Baby and Bud: Good ideas?

Doodlebug: Unselfish?

Sweetie: Well-intentioned?

MoonCat: I think we get the idea. The important thing is that I still have my long, luxurious tail to wave in all your faces.

©️ 2026. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dogs’ Tails – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am Stella, the Olde English Bulldogge’s Queen. I am demanding an answer from Lady Human.

Me:        Yes, you are demanding.

Stella:    Is that a human insult?

Me:        No, it is a human observation.

Stella:    Well, I have a bulldog observation. Humans say frightening things.

Me:        Like what?

Stella:    I heard young humans saying it:

What are little boys made of? Snips and snails and PUPPY DOGS’ TAILS…

Human boys are made of the tails of puppies!

Me:        Now, Stella…

Stella:    Don’t you Stella me! The young humans were playing a game and they said it over and over. So that is how you humans get more boys. You take the tails of innocent puppies. It makes me cry.

Me:        Stella, it is a children’s silly rhyme from almost two hundred years ago. Children like rhymes. So do I. They are rhythmic and easy to remember and fun and they don’t usually mean what they say. Human boys are NOT, I REPEAT, NOT made from puppy dogs’ tails. They come from humans just as puppies come from dogs.

Stella:    Eeewww! Nasty!

Me:        Not Eeewww Nasty. It’s the way the Great Creator designed things and He certainly did not design Eeewww Nasty and He did not design human boys to come from puppy tails.

Stella:    The young humans said that little girls were made of sugar and spice and everything nice.

Me:        Don’t get your hopes up. That is no truer than the rhyme about little boys.

Stella:    Awww. It sounded delicious.

Me:        Stella!

Stella:    Not that I would ever eat little girls, Lady Human. I simply would have enjoyed sitting nearby and sniffing them. Sugar. Spice. Everything nice. Oh well…Now if you will just explain what “snips” are.

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.