The Cat Has Friggin’ Eye Lasers! – Conversations with Stella

Lady Human, I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges…

Me:        I know who you are.

Stella:    This is an official request. You must call your human government now. This is an emergency. I think it may be even more serious than when the giant insects attacked.

Me:        Stella, we’ve gone over this. No giant insects ever attacked. Never, ever, ever. Now tell me what’s wrong.

Stella:    Shhhh! Whisper! She’ll hear us.

Me:        Who will hear us?

Stella:    Moon, the cat.

Me:        What will she hear?

Stella:    That I saw the lasers in her eyes. Call the army people. They need to know. We can’t be sure when she will use them. She has kept them a secret for a long time.


Me:        What you saw were the natural reflectors in her eyes, not lasers.

Stella:    No, they were lasers, just like on those Star Trek shows that you are always watching and watching and watching and watching…

Me:        On Star Trek, they use phasers.

Stella:    Whatever they are called. The shiny, beamy things.

Me:        Stella, stop worrying. I’ve seen Moon’s eye beams before. Cats have reflectors in their eyes that help them gather light so that they can hunt better in the dark. God made them that way.

Stella:    Why didn’t He give us that equipment?

Me:        You will have to ask Him. He did not give that to humans either. But He did give you all those wonderful noses.

Stella:    I would prefer eye lasers.



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.