I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Why are you so quiet, Lady Human? Is it human stuff again?
Me: Yeah.
Doodlebug: Why are you looking at the sky? Is there a storm?
Me: With humans, there’s always a storm somewhere. I like looking at the sky. It’s so big. It reminds me of the One Who made it all.
Sweetie: Bigger than the storm?
Me: Oh, yeah. And bigger than the humans.
MoonCat: Well, that’s good news.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Sweetie! What is Lady Human doing?
Sweetie: Shhhh! She is reading. Whatever that is.
Doodlebug: She is being too quiet. That is never a good sign with humans. It usually means that they are up to no good.
Sweetie: I know. She’s been at this reading thing quite awhile now. Very ominous.
Doodlebug: MoonCat! Go walk on her. That should break it up.
MoonCat: Meow. Nonsense. I only walk on humans on my own terms.
Sweetie: She is all bent over. Maybe she is stuck. Let’s start a commotion.
Me: Hey, what’s all the commotion?
Doodlebug: Phew! What a relief! You’re alive. We thought your brain had been eaten by that big stack of paper.
Sweetie: Yeah. It turns out you were only doing what all humans do – wasting time.
Copyright 2023 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Hello, humans! I am Queen Stella. Turn down the lights. Silence all loud noises. This bedtime story is for you. You need calming down. You have all been tense for months and Lady Human says that tomorrow is the Official Day of Election Nonsense. Since humans are full of nonsense most of the time, I don’t understand why tomorrow is more nonsensical than other human days, but I will take her word for it. After all, she is human and should know.
Me: May I close my eyes and listen?
Stella: As you wish. Now we begin.
Once upon a time this time yesterday, a sweet, smart bulldog named Stella was baking a meat pie.
Me: You aren’t going to change the main character’s name?
Stella: Listeners must be silent.
Me: Sorry.
Stella: Where was I? Oh, yes. Sweet, smart Stella was baking a wonderful, spicy meat pie. All the bulldogs sniffed the air to catch the aroma. Everyone sat still, quiet and nodding sleepily. She pulled the pie from the oven and set it on the floor where the bulldogs could reach it. As it cooled, the bulldogs dreamed of the magic pie and how good it would taste.
Me: Magic pie?
Stella: It is food, isn’t it? Now close your eyes and be quiet and calm down. It was peaceful, so peaceful when SUDDENLY, IN THROUGH THE WINDOW BURST A FLYING SQUIRREL!
Me: What?
Stella: The squirrel whirled around the kitchen, clawing on each pass at the bulldogs and the precious meat pie. Sweet Stella stood up to defend her kin, transforming into FLYING STELLA, SQUIRREL FIGHTER. She reached into the pie and pulled out a piece of carrot. She threw it out the window in front of the food-stealing squirrel and slammed the window shut behind him. No squirrel was going to get away with her pie!
Me: This is a bedtime story to calm people down?
Stella: Think of defeating a flying squirrel at his own game. That always calms me down. Doesn’t it you?
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 