I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges. Oooo, smell that, Lady Human.
Me: Smell what? I don’t smell anything.
Sweetie: You need a bigger nose.
Me: My nose is plenty big.
Sweetie: Can you smell the chicken poop outside right now?
Me: Thankfully, no.
Doodlebug: A big nose like ours would solve that problem.
MoonCat: That’s a problem? I’ll stick with my little nose, thank you.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, just how weak is your nose? Can you smell what I’m thinking?
Me: Uh…no. Sometimes I can look at you and tell what you are thinking. Like when you are side glancing at your empty food bowl.
Doodlebug: Seeing is fine. Smelling is so much better.
Sweetie: Yeah, smelling can tell you things eyes never can, like whether or not someone is likeable or trustworthy or kind. Or interesting.
MoonCat: Or if they have treats in their pocket. Admit it, bulldogs. That’s what’s really interesting to you.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, do you smell?
Me: You mean do I stink?
Sweetie: Well, of course you stink. You’re a human. No, I mean can you smell stuff?
Me: Yeah, but not a fraction as well as y’all can.
Doodlebug: Can you smell when somebody you know has passed by a spot?
Me: Only if they’re wearing perfume. Or, well, doing something else.
Sweetie: Can you scent when someone is in a bad mood and you should stay away?
Me: No, but I sure wish I could.
MoonCat: Can you scent when the air is stale because bulldogs have been opening their wide mouths too much, polluting the air? I sure can.
©️ 2025. H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, you have a very limited notion of what bulldogs’ noses are good for.
Me: They’re not good stick holders. I know that.
Sweetie: But they scent a whole bunch more than human noses can. Like ka-billions and ka-billions times more.
Me: I don’t know what a “ka-billion” is, but yes, a whole lot more than humans.
Doodlebug: It was all part of the Great Creator’s plan.
Sweetie: Yes, He wanted us to rule the world with our noses.
Me: No, I’m for sure and certain it wasn’t for that.
MoonCat: In the great list of superpowers, I don’t see bulldog noses even near the top of the list.
©️ 2025.H.J. Hill. All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 