I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: I have made up the schedule for patrolling our Bulldog Territory.
Me: “Made up” being the operative term.
Sweetie: Rule 1: No possums allowed at any time.
Me: Except when they come in anyway.
Sweetie: Rule 2: Humans are only allowed outside at posted times and in posted places.
Me: Exactly how are you going to post these things?
Doodlebug: Watch for the risen paw. Stop. Turn around. Go inside.
Me: By what authority do you tell me, a human being, whether or not I can go outside in my own yard?
MoonCat: Well, this is going down like a lead balloon. Everybody steer clear. Including possums.
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Bulldoggy 