I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Mmmm. Do you clean your feet like this?
Me: By licking them? Certainly not!
Sweetie: Lady Human, I was talking to MoonCat. She has way more feet than you. I don’t expect humans to know how to do things the proper way.
MoonCat: Meow. Your feet are bigger than mine, bulldog. I clean mine from the tops and sides first, but never before eating.
Doodlebug: Only after dinner then.
MoonCat: Yes, King Bulldog. Licking my feet before eating would be vulgar.
Me: Yeah, I can see that. All that loose hair and cat litter and stuff.
MoonCat: Clean your human feet as you wish to, ma’am, and we will clean ours in our own way.
Sweetie: Humans don’t understand the pressure of taking care of more than two feet at a time, MoonCat.
MoonCat: It is a lot of work, but it gives us so much more to talk about during social hour.
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Bulldoggy 