House Rules – Conversations with Stella and the Pack

I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Lady Human! Lady Human! Wiggles is dragging towels out of the clean up box. Violation of House Rule 1,390,245.

Me:        Wiggles, leave the towels alone.

Wiggles:   No. Yes. No. Okay. Can I keep the ones I already have?

Me:        I guess so, as long as you don’t eat them.

Wiggles:   Awwww. Never mind then.

Me:        And Stella, we don’t have a million plus house rules.

Stella:    You could’ve fooled me.

Snoopey:   Lady Human! Stella is sitting too close to the Picture Box. She is staring at it. That’s bad for her eyes. Violation of House Rule blah – blah – blah – blah – blah.

Stella:    Hey, I’m the one who gets to call out House Rule violations. And I’m not, because I like these pretty pictures. And besides, Wiggles is still in violation of House Rule 1,390,245 and she is pulling out more towels and Lady Human hasn’t stopped her.

Tiger:     Lady Human! Miss Sweetie is sitting over in the corner making loud, rumbly noises. Violation of some House Rule or other, I’m sure.

Me:        House Rules are to promote safety, peace, and enjoyment. How are rumbly noises a violation of those?

Tiger:     I don’t enjoy her rumbly noises so there’s that.

Miss Sweetie:    Lady Human! Doodlebug walked into Wiggles’ crate, sniffing around and drooling!  Violation of House Rule something or other.

Doodlebug:   Tattle tale! Nosy nose!

Miss Sweetie:   Lady Human! Doodlebug is calling me names for following the rules. Make him stop! Violation of House Rule I don’t know what, but…

Me:   Okay. New House Rule.

Tiger:   Oh, no!

Snoopey:   Not another one.

Me:        Everybody minds their own business.

Stella:    That’s fine with me because everything is my business. Now make it official.

Me:        Okay…it’s official?

Stella:    Number, please.

Me:        Really? How about Stella’s choice?

Stella:    Great!

Me:        So… what’s the number?

Stella:    I have no idea. I can’t count that high.



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.


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