I am here again with Stella, the Olde English Bulldogge, aka Queen and Squirrel Fighter.
Stella: Thank you for the introduction.
Me: Lest anyone forget.
Me: As the bulldogs’ queen, I hope you can help me.
Stella: Oh, they don’t listen to me. Bulldogs aren’t great followers. They are too bulldoggy.
Me: Oh, well.
Stella: I know. Maybe I can yell at them. If I raise my voice and sound screechy enough, they may pay attention. LISTEN TO ME, BULLDOGS! STOP WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU ARE DOING THAT IRRITATES THE HUMANS! THAT COULD BE JUST ABOUT ANYTHING! THE HUMANS ARE VERY TOUCHY!
Me: Touchy? Really?
Me: Like what?
Stella: Like farting, and barking, and…
Me: Running pell-mell through the house?
Stella: Oh, is that the problem? Mmmm…can’t help you.
Me: So I gathered.
Stella: Gathered what?
Me: It’s an old human expression.
Stella: So only old humans use it?
Me: No. It’s an old expression …Nevermind. The galloping bulldogs need to slow down. They are going so fast that when they hit a corner, they roll over sideways and slip. I feel like those people in Spain who are running away from the bulls.
Stella: People in Spain run away from bulls? Why? Bulldogs run at bulls. Let me go there. I will bulldog those bulls.
Me: Not likely and not the point. In our house, running is not allowed. There is furniture to run into, floors to slide on, people to run into, people to knock over, people to step on…
Stella: Sounds like you are focused on people and not bulldog fun.
Me: I don’t like dodging bulldog bowling balls.
Stella: That’s easy. When you hear us rumbling, just get out of the way.
Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.