I Will Take No Further Questions! – Stella’s Audience with the Pack

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I, Stella, yes, me. Queen. Illustrious. Noble. Olde English Bulldogge. All of that.  I hereby declare this audience open and I will take no further questions.

Me:        You just opened the audience. Why not?

Stella:    That is a question.

Me:        Technically, yes.

Stella:    Let me be clear. I will take no more questions from you, Lady Human.

Me:        Just me?

Stella:    That is a question. No questions from you.

Me:        Why not? What did I do wrong?

Stella:    Those are 2 questions. I will entertain questions from anyone else.

Me:        There are no other humans present right now.

Stella:    Then human questions must wait. I may have some time next year, whatever a year is.  Are there any bulldogs with questions?

Tiger:     Yes.  Why are you the queen and why are you so rude?

Stella:    Those are 2 questions also. Please do not try my patience by attempting to string multiple questions together, pretending that they are one long question. Plus I don’t like your questions. I hereby amend my declaration. No more questions from Lady Human or Tiger. Next!

Miss Sweetie:    I have a question, Aunt Stella.

Stella:    Go ahead, Sweetie.

Miss Sweetie:    Why?

Stella:    Why what?

Miss Sweetie:    Why? Just why? Why daytime? Why night? Why up? Why down? Why do I have four legs and Lady Human only has two? Why this? Why not that?

Stella:    Halt! New amendment to my declaration. No further questions from anyone under the age of two.

Wiggles:   I have a question. I am older than two.

Stella:    Good, Wiggles. What is your question?

Wiggles:   Hahahahaha! You asked a question. Now I have to answer it…Never mind. I forgot.

Stella:    Awwwggghhh. Whose idea was it to have these audiences?

Me:        Sorry, not taking questions from you right now.

Wiggles:  You said it was what queens do. Hey, Stella, there! I answered a question. Hahahaha!

Snoopey:   I have something to say.

Stella:    Very well. Proceed.

Snoopey:   Be quiet!

Stella:    That was not a question.

Snoopey: It is the answer.

Stella:    To what question, pray tell?

Snoopey:   To any question. Especially the question of what do you say to Stella when she is being loud and rude?

Stella:    Insolent and insubordinate.

Snoopey:  Exactly.

Stella:    That’s it! End of the audience. I will not take any further questions from anyone. Next audience, I will be asking AND answering my own questions. I like my questions better. Dismissed!

Snoopey:   Lady Human, when is the next audience? It ought to be a hoot.

Lady Human:      I’ll bring the popcorn.

 

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

Queen Stella Holds Court – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, am entertaining a question from Lady Human. Human queens call this an audience, but that is strange because only the two of us are here. Anyway, go on and ask thy question.

Me:        Very gracious of you.

Stella:    Indeed, it is. Pray, what is thy question?

Me:        Why are you talking like that?

Stella:    Thou hast been playing the Picture Box a lot with many people on it talking this way. I think that they speak prettily.

Me:        I suppose they do. Now for my question…

Stella:    I have already answered thy question.

Me:        No, I haven’t asked it yet.

Stella:    Yes, thou didst. Thou asked about my pretty talk.

Me:        That was just because it sounded so weird coming from your mouth. I had another question.

Stella:    Thou hast my permission to proceed. Ask thy annoying question.

Me:        How do you know it is annoying?

Stella:    All human questions are annoying. I would rather be napping.

Me:        Okay, what I want to understand is…

Stella:    No, thou hast already asked thy second question.

Me:        Hey, not fair!

Stella:    I am Queen. I decide what is fair.

Me:        That alone is grossly unfair.

Stella:    Silence, churl!

Me:        Okay, off goes the television.

 

Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.