Driver’s Seat for Drivers Only – Conversations with Stella

I, Stella, of the Olde English Bulldogges, Queen, enjoyed an illustrious lunch from my friends at The Bomb Fried Pies. Lady Human drove me to their trailer where they shared with me fried baloney, the best of all kinds of baloney, certainly better than what the humans call ‘a bunch of baloney’ which, from what I can tell, is just a lot of silly human talk and has nothing to do with meat at all.


It would have been an illustrious day had it not been for what happened when we got back to the Little Rolling Box on Wheels.

Me:        I thought the whole day was fairly routine.

Stella:    You don’t even remember the insult, do you?

Me:        Nobody insulted you. That one gentleman pointed out how pretty you are and the Fried Pie ladies were happy to see you.

Stella:    Not them, Lady Human. Your insult!

Me:        Oh, great, what did I do?

Stella:    It hurts my feelings to think about it. And you don’t even remember.

Me:        If this goes on much longer, Stella, I am going to take a nap like the others. Wait. Is this about when you climbed into the driver’s seat before I could jump into the car?

Stella:    Hmmmpph! You wouldn’t let me sit there.

Me:        That was no insult. That was common sense. You weigh 51 pounds.

Stella:    Are you calling me fat?

Me:        No, you are perfect, but you barely fit by yourself in the passenger seat as it is. There is no way you and I both can sit in the driver’s seat.

Stella:    How much do you weigh? Maybe you’re the problem.

Me:        Not the issue. You are not allowed to ride in the driver’s seat. It’s not safe. It’s not comfortable. On top of that, the wind was cold and I was standing outside my own car, arguing with a bulldog who would not get out of my seat.

Stella:    ‘Move over! Move over!’ That was no argument. That was just plain rude.

Me:        I had asked politely the first 5 times. I finally had to sit down sideways on the edge of the driver’s seat and inch backward until you gave in.

Stella:    I had to give in. You were sucking up all the space. The whole affair almost made me sorry that we went to get the fried baloney. Almost…Just you wait until I grow up and get my own car.

Me:        I don’t believe that will happen.

Stella:    Why not?

Me:        Your insurance rates would be too high.

Stella:    Oh. All right then. You have my permission to keep driving me to get fried baloney. I still say the driver’s seat is mine.

Me:         You may have a point, Stella.




Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.




Can You Smell That?

Stella and I visited The Bomb Fried Pie trailer when it was at RaRa’s Closet in Dallas on Saturday.  They serve a wonderful hot dog wrapped in crispy fried dough with a side of honey mustard. This treat is called a “Bomb Dog” and I make a special point to go and get one when I can. Stella hauled me toward the trailer as though I was not going to be able to make it on my own and besides I was walking too slowly. She forgets that I have two legs to her four.


They treated Stella to a piece of fried bologna and made her day. (I parceled it out to her so she would not eat it all in one swipe though that would have suited her just fine.)

Stella has been to The Bomb Fried Pie trailer before so that may explain her excitement when she jumped out of the car. Maybe she remembered the scent. Bulldogs do not hold a great reputation for nose skills compared to most dog breeds. Their short muzzles impact their breathing and they don’t usually follow their noses as well as others do. Our bulldogs can figure their way around with their noses though and I have been testing Stella on her ability to pick odd smells when we are camping or out and about.

I “let” her lead me back to the car. When she is in bulldog pulling mode, I don’t have much choice. Our leash training has not gone that well. But I did allow her to choose among the parked cars to see if she could find ours by scent. She’s done it before. This time she got close, within a few feet. All she had to do was turn around.

We loaded up, snacked on the Bomb Dog and honey mustard and fried bologna, and I drove to the other side of the building. We walked back to the trailer and RaRa’s and, after a couple of minutes, Stella turned her face in the direction we had come. She couldn’t see our car from where we were, but she appeared to be following her nose again, yep, straight to our vehicle.

There had to be a lot of different scents competing for Stella’s olfactory attention. The delicious odors coming from the fried pies and meats, people scents, dog scents from the other canine visitors, multiple vehicles. But when she focused her nose, Stella didn’t really have any trouble finding out which car was ours. She read her situation pretty well.

So what have I learned from this? Use the talents I have and focus. Being a human, my nose perception is pretty weak, but I’ve been given other gifts. Using them the right way will help me know where I am and where I am going.

“Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.” Proverbs 4:25


Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.