I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
Sweetie: Lady Human, that dog.
Me: What dog?
Sweetie: That dog walking down the road with that long tail.
Doodlebug: Yeah, a long skinny tail like a curved stick that he whacks against things as he passes by.
Sweetie: How come we don’t have tails to wag?
Me: You have tails and you wag them. I see you do it. They’re just not long.
Sweetie: How come? No, don’t tell me. Humans did something to our tails.
Me: Yeah. Bulldog breeding took a few bad turns through the years and your tails corkscrewed and caused you some problems, and well, long story short, you have short tails.
Sweetie: Then buy me a long tail! Humans buy everything. Buy me a long tail that I can whack on things with.
MoonCat: Oh, my, what could possibly go wrong with that?
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Bulldoggy 