Snorting is a Serious Matter – Conversations with Stella

I am Stella, and if anyone should know about bulldog snorting, it should be me. My snorting is loud and impressive, evidence of my good bulldog breeding. Since the windy, branch-shaking day though, Lady Human has been imitating me and badly, all to make fun of me. I don’t like that. It’s not funny. It makes me mad. Stop it, Lady Human, stop it now!

Me:        Ah-choo!

Stella:    You did it again! No respect!

Me:        Ah-choo! I can’t stop.

Stella:    Of course, you can stop. You’ve never behaved this way before and I have known you for almost 2 days.

Me:        Ah…almost…2…years…choo!

Stella:    I don’t sound like that! My snorts are serious.

Me:        I am not mimicking you, honey. There is some allergen in the air. It blew in on Sunday and I’ve been breathing it in. I’ve been sneezing ever since.

Stella:    Stop breathing in.

Me:        I can’t stop breathing, Stella. Not a good idea.

Stella:    Oh. Yeah. Never mind. Then wear one of Tall Man’s giant insect masks.

Me:        If it weren’t so bulky, that might be a good idea. Do you believe me now that I am not trying to make fun of you?

Stella:    Yes. I am sorry that I doubted you, Lady Human. It’s just that with so many people making fun of bulldogs, it is hard to maintain any semblance of dignity.

Me:        Dignity is important to y’all, isn’t it?

Stella:    Of course. Isn’t it important to humans?

Me:        Yes.

Stella:    I have heard that some humans call us ‘the clowns of the dog world’. Others are afraid of us because of our size, our faces, our upside-down vampire teeth.

Me:        Like the lady at the feed store was afraid.

Stella:    Yes. I did not understand that. Everyone else has always given me a chance.

Me:        She ended up giving you a chance and you came through shining like a star. And don’t be concerned if people laugh at you, Stella. Be concerned when you forget how to laugh back.

Stella:    Lady Human?

Me:        Hmmm?

Stella:    Hahahahaha! You sound so funny when you snort! A-choo! A-choo! Do it again!



Copyright 2017 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

One thought on “Snorting is a Serious Matter – Conversations with Stella

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s