Property Rights for Dogs – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I, Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges, am not pleased.

Me:        Uh-oh.

Stella:    If what happened to me had happened to you, you would not be pleased either.

Me:        Okey dokey. If you say so.

Stella:    Puh. Puh. Puh. This is really important! You have to do something!

Me:        It must be for you to be puffing your cheeks out. What is this something that I have to do?

Stella:    Wiggles peed on my sunning spot! Again!

Me:        Well, that’s not so big a deal. We’ll just hose it off.

Stella:    Not good enough! How would you like it if someone peed on your spot?

Me:        Someone has peed on my spot before.

Stella:    Let me guess. Wiggles.

Me:        As a matter of fact, yes.

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Stella:    She must be stopped! She is a trespasser! She turns everything into her own private bathroom! What about me? What about my rights? I keep my spot nice and clean. I don’t step on anybody else’s spot. But along comes Wiggles who not only steps on my place but pees on it. PEES ON IT!!!

Me:        It’s not that important…

Stella:    Not important? What if a giant came walking through the neighborhood and said, “Oh, that’s a nice spot” and then peed on our house? Would that be important?

Me:        Yes, but I really think that is unlikely to happen. And we can hose your spot off.

Stella:    Not the point. Property rights for Stella! That is the point! I am filing a claim. I demand that a fence be put up surrounding my sunning spot. A Wiggles-proof zone.

Me:        Nope.

Stella:    How are my rights going to be protected without it? Not fair!

Me:        Such is life. We don’t need yet another fence just for your sunning spot. If you see Wiggles starting to use your spot, tell her to get off and use her own.

Stella:    What has the world come to when you can’t get a human to build a simple fence to keep a bulldog from peeing on your special spot? I’ll bet you would build one quick enough to keep humans from trespassing to pee on your property.

Me:        Actually, we already have. Some humans have no manners.

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

Stay Out of My Sunbath Spot! – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am with Stella, the Olde English Bulldogge, Queen and Squirrel Fighter.

Stella:    FLYING Squirrel Fighter!

Me:        That remains to be seen. And by the way, the squirrel is still in the front pecan tree, engorging himself and throwing pecan shells on me when I pass by.

Stella:    Jerky McSquirrelyFace and I will meet on the Field of Battle one day. Then we shall see who emerges victorious.

Me:        The squirrel, probably.

Stella:    AAGGGHH! You would bet against me? Lady Human, for shame!

Me:        Well, the squirrel is fast. He climbs trees. He can run over rooftops. He jumps crazy far. He hides so well that you can look right at him and not see him.

Stella:    I can do all that.

Me:        Stella the Bulldog. Remember.

Stella:    So I may have to practice a bit. You’ll see. But I have a more urgent problem. Wiggles peed on my sunbath spot.

Me:        I believe that everyone, except for me and Tall Man, of course, has peed on your sunbath spot at one time or another. Everyone including you.

Stella:    If I pee on my own spot, that is my business. Still, you are the management and I am making a formal complaint.

Me:        I have noticed a lot of selfishness among the bulldogs about the sunbathing area lately.

Stella:    Exactly, which is why we need a reservation system. And the reservation system says that the spot in the middle is mine all the time. No trespassing. No public bathroom. Oh, and I reserve the time slot when the sun shines at the best angle, not too hot, not too cool, just right.

Me:        What about the others? It sounds like you are trying to hog the sun.

Stella:    Pigs have nothing to do with it. Don’t let pigs come on my sunbathing spot! There is no telling what they might leave behind.

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.