Me: Sweetie, what do you think you’re doing?
Sweetie: Just trying new things. Look how well I fit in here.
Me: No, you don’t. We’ve talked about this before. There isn’t enough room for you to squeeze your head between that heavy chair and that table. There just isn’t.
Sweetie: Are you calling me fat?
Me: No, I’m calling you what you are. A big-boned bulldog of the English variety, and you can’t fit in any ole tight space you choose.
Sweetie: Watch me! Mmmm…hmmph!
Me: See what I mean?
Sweetie: But if I try hard enough, I should be able to fit anywhere!
Me: Not if it’s physically impossible. And why would you even want to?
Sweetie: It’s a bulldog thing. I’ll just keep trying.
Me: That’s what I was afraid of.
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Bulldoggy 