I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Well…Lady Human…I’m waiting.
Tiger: Oh, not again.
Miss Sweetie: This is always so weird, even for us.
Doodlebug: I don’t ever do that.
Wiggles: Show off!
Stella: Lady Human, I’m ready to go out. How long do I have to stand here like this?
Me: Why do you stand there like that?
Stella: Like what?
Me: Like a statue. Waiting for me to scratch your rear end and pat you before you will turn toward the door. I don’t even remember how this got started.
Stella: Easy. You did it one time. I liked it. Now you must do it almost every time. The only times you don’t do our ceremony is when I need to potty really bad. Then it’s not so important.
Me: But why is the ceremony important at all?
Tiger: Oh, Lady Human, don’t you see?
Wiggles: She is showing off in front of us.
Tiger: Trying to be all that.
Wiggles: And a bag of barbeque potato chips.
Me: Stella, are you showing off? Trying to get special attention.
Stella: I am the Queen. If anyone deserves special attention, it’s me. Now do the ceremony so I can go outside.
Me: Oh, all right. It is kind of funny.
Stella: Nothing about me is funny. Do it! Scratch my rear end while making that high-pitched noise. And then pat my rear end one…two…three times. NOW!
Me: EEEEEEEE! Pat. Pat. Pat.
Stella: Finally. Now I can move on.
Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.