Oh, The Things We Do For Attention – Conversations with Stella and the Pack


I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Well…Lady Human…I’m waiting.

Tiger:  Oh, not again.

Miss Sweetie:  This is always so weird, even for us.

Doodlebug:  I don’t ever do that.

Wiggles:  Show off!

Stella:  Lady Human, I’m ready to go out. How long do I have to stand here like this?

Me:  Why do you stand there like that?

Stella:  Like what?

Me:  Like a statue. Waiting for me to scratch your rear end and pat you before you will turn toward the door. I don’t even remember how this got started.

Stella:  Easy. You did it one time. I liked it. Now you must do it almost every time. The only times you don’t do our ceremony is when I need to potty really bad. Then it’s not so important.

Me:  But why is the ceremony important at all?

Tiger:  Oh, Lady Human, don’t you see?

Wiggles:  She is showing off in front of us.

Tiger:  Trying to be all that.

Wiggles:  And a bag of barbeque potato chips.

Me:  Stella, are you showing off? Trying to get special attention.

Stella:  I am the Queen. If anyone deserves special attention, it’s me. Now do the ceremony so I can go outside.

Me:  Oh, all right. It is kind of funny.

Stella:  Nothing about me is funny. Do it! Scratch my rear end while making that high-pitched noise. And then pat my rear end one…two…three times. NOW!

Me:   EEEEEEEE! Pat. Pat. Pat.

Stella:  Finally. Now I can move on.










Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.





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