I am Doodlebug, King of the Olde English Bulldogges.
And I am Sweetie and I have something to say.
Me: Why should today be any different?
Doodlebug: Me first. I am the King. Lady Human, we love you despite all your faults.
Sweetie: Yes, we love you even though you don’t feed us fresh steak.
Me: I don’t even get fresh steak.
Doodlebug: We know, but we forgive you. And sometimes our meals are like 5 minutes late.
Me: But sometimes they’re an hour early…
Sweetie: And we forgive you for that, too.
Doodlebug: And sometimes you’re a little slow understanding what we want.
Me: A problem with translation, no doubt.
Doodlebug: Bottom line, we forgive you.
Sweetie: Yes. While you are far from perfect, we know you are doing the best you can. As pitiful as that is.
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Bulldoggy 