Please Don’t Paw the Driver – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

Stella and I are out on an errand run. It’s always fun traveling with a dog…Ow! Stella, don’t do that!

Stella:    Don’t do what?

Me:        Don’t hit me with your paw!

Stella:    I had to get your attention.

Me:        I can’t give you my attention. I am driving.

Stella:    You did not introduce me.

Me:        I said your name.

Stella:    Not good enough.

Me:        Ow! Stella, quit it! Don’t touch the driver. Ever.

Stella:    Why not?

Me:        It is distracting and drivers should not be distracted.

Stella:    Not even by those little black boxes that make funny noises?

Me:        Especially not by those.

Stella:    Then put yours away!

Me:        Oh, all right.

Stella:    Introduce me!

Me:        Ow! Don’t paw me!

Stella:    But I love you.

Me:        And that’s why you hit me?

Stella:    I didn’t hit you. I loved you with my rough, heavy paw.

Me:        If you keep it up, I will have to pull over and put you in the backseat.

Stella:    I will just paw at you from there. Introduce me.

Me:        Stella. Queen. Old English Bulldogge.

Stella:    What else?

Me:        Illustrious. Noble.

Stella:    Thank you. That wasn’t so hard, was it?

Me:        You don’t know the challenges of driving.

Stella:    Well, at least I am having a good time.

Me:        That’s what it’s all about, Stella.

 

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Tell Me Why – Conversations with Stella

Posted on by H.J. Hill

I am the Olde English Bulldogges’ Queen, Stella, the Illustrious, the Noble, the Great. The ING.

Me;        What is an “ING”, pray tell?

Stella:    Just what I said. Illustrious, noble, great. I am Stella Ing.

Me:        If you insist.

Stella:    I have a question. Or two or three or ten.

Me:        Shoot.

Stella:    Why?

Me:        Why what?

Stella:    Precisely.

Me:        What is your question?

Stella:    Why?

Me:        Because you told me that you have a question or two or three or ten.

Stella:    My question is why?

Me:        I don’t know why without a what.

Stella:    Well, why didn’t you just say so?

Me:        Say what?

Stella:    Why?

Me:        Oh, no, not again. You can’t simply ask ‘why’ without a subject behind it. For example, you could ask, “Why is the sky blue?” or “Why is the moon round?”

Stella:    Okay. Start with those.

Me:        Well, the sky is blue because of sunlight refraction that shows us that part of the spectrum….

Stella:    Why?

Me:        Uh-oh. I think this is headed nowhere fast.

Stella:    Why?

Me:        As I suspected. My kids used to play this game. I’ll do now what I used to do back then. Punt.

Stella:    What is punt?

Me:        It is a football term. When one team has used up its chances to move the football at least 10 yards on one possession, they can choose to kick the ball as far as they can to the other team and so get the ball away from their territory.

Stella:    So ‘to punt’ means ‘to give up’.

Me:        No, it means to get a breather and regroup.

Stella:    Very well. Punt.

Me:        Okay, here goes nothing. Why?

Stella:    What?

Me:        I just punted to you.

Stella:    Why?

Me:        What?

Stella:    And I just punted back to you. Aren’t those the rules to this game?

Me:        Apparently, they are now. Hey, Stella, how about a treat?

Stella:    Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Is this how you used to play the game with your human puppies?

Me:        Not exactly. I usually offered them ice cream.

 

Copyright 2016 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.