I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Something has been bothering me for quite some time.
Me: Pray tell, what?
Stella: Are humans born?
Me: Sure.
Tiger: I would like to see that.
Stella: Nope. Gross.
Miss Sweetie: But if you were born, was it on a certain day?
Me: Yeah.
Tiger: So, you had what they call a ‘birthday’!
Me: Yes.
Wiggles: Why have we never had a birthday thing for you?
Me: A birthday party?
Doodlebug: That’s what we have been calling it for us.
Me: Well, we just don’t do a lot in the party department. But…I can let you in on a secret…sshhhhh!
Stella: SHHHH!
Wiggles: Shhh…shhh!
Tiger: Okay, okay, shhhh!
Doodlebug: All right already…shhhh!
Miss Sweetie: Today is your birthday!
Me: No. But today is Tall Man’s birthday. But don’t let on that you know. When he comes in from work, just start celebrating. Wiggles, do your famous comma dance. And everybody bark and jump.
Stella: Too late. We did that this morning when he left for work.
Tiger: Maybe he didn’t notice.
Wiggles: Oh, he noticed. We do it every morning and he notices every morning.
Doodlebug: Then…BORING!
Me: How about some party hats?
Stella: No, Lady Human, absolutely not.
Me: But it would be…
Stella: No.
Me: He would find it…
Stella: No.
Me: …funny.
Stella: No.
Miss Sweetie: Cake.
Tiger: Yes, cake.
Wiggles: Cake, cake, cake…
Me: He’s not too much into cake.
Stella: But we are! It’s not for him! It’s for us! All this time, we haven’t had any birthday parties for the humans. I feel cheated. Where is our fun? Party! Party! Party!
Me: Okay, I’ll try to think up something.
Stella: Whatever that something is, the Number One Rule is: NO PARTY HATS!
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 