I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. Do you hear it, Lady Human? There is a bulldog on the roof and you need to bring whoever it is down right now!
Me: I hear it, girl, but it’s not a bulldog.
Stella: I know a bulldog when I hear one. Raarr rarr raaarrr!
Me: No, it sounds like a bulldog, but it is something else.
Stella: I can see on the roof. Wait. No, I can’t. I’m too short. Let me move back. Okay. I see it. It is a big, weird, brown bulldog that is turning around a little now and again.
Me: Stella, does that really look like a bulldog to you?
Stella: Yes. No. Maybe.
Me: That moaning, growling sound is coming from one of our roof vents. Something has jammed it or knocked it out of kilter and it’s not spinning freely.
Stella: Why would spinny things be on our roof?
Me: They help ventilate the crawl space under the roof.
Stella: We have a “crawl space”. Why haven’t I seen it? I can crawl!
Me: Believe me, it’s not suitable for bulldogs.
Stella: Well, tell that spinny thing to stop imitating a bulldog. It’s annoying.
Me: Yes, it is. We’ll take care of it. Until it’s fixed, you’ll only hear it when the wind kicks up.
Stella: Then tell the wind to stop kicking it! Who does the wind think it is anyway?
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
