I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I have never understood cats. Well, to be precise, I have never understood cat. I have only ever known one cat. Moon Cat or as I like to call her now, Dummkopf. That is a word from a human language that I don’t know, but I heard Lady Human use it and she says it means “Stupid Head”. That I understand.
Me: What are you fussing about, Stella?
Stella: Do you see the cat? Do you see what she is doing?
Me: Whoa! Hold on there, Hon! That’s not yours.
Stella: Finally. The human woke up. Why is the cat allowed to open your cabinet?
Me: She isn’t. I’ve never seen her do that before.
Stella: Okay, Lady Human, what do you have hidden in there that attracted the Dummkopf?
Me: If she can open that cabinet, she is not a Dummkopf.
Stella: Mmmm. Matter of opinion.
Me: There is nothing in there that would interest cats.
Stella: No food?
Stella: No stupid feathery toys?
Stella: No other cats?
Me: What? No! Just insurance policies and auto receipts and some old books…
Me: What? Eeewww! No! At least, I don’t see any evidence of that. Yuck! Now I’ll be thinking about that all night.
Stella: A random cabinet. A random cat. A random paw. The answer is plain. Cats are bizarre and live in a bizarre, sneaky world. All you have to figure out, Lady Human, is which cabinet is next?
Copyright 2020 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.