The Bizarre World of Cats – Conversations with Stella


I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I have never understood cats. Well, to be precise, I have never understood cat. I have only ever known one cat. Moon Cat or as I like to call her now, Dummkopf.  That is a word from a human language that I don’t know, but I heard Lady Human use it and she says it means “Stupid Head”. That I understand.

Me:  What are you fussing about, Stella?

Stella:  Do you see the cat? Do you see what she is doing?

Me:  Whoa! Hold on there, Hon! That’s not yours.

Stella:  Finally. The human woke up. Why is the cat allowed to open your cabinet?

Me:  She isn’t. I’ve never seen her do that before.

Stella:  Okay, Lady Human, what do you have hidden in there that attracted the Dummkopf?

Me:  If she can open that cabinet, she is not a Dummkopf.

Stella:  Mmmm. Matter of opinion.

Me:  There is nothing in there that would interest cats.

Stella:  No food?

Me:  Never.

Stella:  No stupid feathery toys?

Me:  No.

Stella:  No other cats?

Me:  What? No! Just insurance policies and auto receipts and some old books…

Stella:  Rats?

Me:  What? Eeewww! No! At least, I don’t see any evidence of that. Yuck! Now I’ll be thinking about that all night.

Stella:  A random cabinet. A random cat. A random paw. The answer is plain. Cats are bizarre and live in a bizarre, sneaky world. All you have to figure out, Lady Human, is which cabinet is next?








Copyright 2020 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.


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