I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. It is time for my occasional review of the hotel staff where we reside.
Me: Once again, this is not a hotel. This is our home. And we are not your hotel staff.
Stella: You could have fooled me. I give an overall score of two stars out of…wait, one, two, three, four, five…out of five stars. I had to count toes to make sure.
Me: We only get two stars?
Stella: I am being generous. For example, lunch and supper were late today, but I gave you two stars since you did remember.
Me: Both lunch and supper were on time.
Stella: Not according to my stomach clock. And Doodlebug had to wake you up this morning or you would have slept through breakfast.
Me: He does that every morning. I wait for him. And you did sleep through breakfast.
Stella: I prefer a late breakfast. The customer is always right.
Me: Again, this is not a hotel. You are not a customer.
Stella: With that attitude, you will never earn your third star. Too bad.
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