I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. I have always wondered, Lady Human, but I was embarrassed to ask…
Me: Why would you be embarrassed to ask me anything?
Stella: This is about those windows on your eyes.
Me: Windows? Oh, glasses!
Stella: If you say so.
Me: Glasses don’t embarrass me.
Stella: We don’t like to ask you questions about stuff you wear. Like that weird thing you wind around your head that looks like something is attacking you.
Me: The head towel.
Stella: If you say so. Those eye windows. Why do you wear them?
Me: They help me see clearly at a distance.
Stella: I look through windows. I don’t see more clearly.
Me: These are special windows…uh…lenses. They are special windows made just for my eyes.
Stella: Do they hurt?
Me: No, not at all.
Stella: May I have some?
Me: From what I understand about the eyes of dogs, they may not respond to…eye windows…the way human eyes do.
Stella: May I chew on yours?
Me: No! Absolutely not! MoonCat did that once and I had to have them repaired. You haven’t missed anything. They don’t even taste good.
Stella: Oh, well, in that case, never mind.
Copyright 2019 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.
Bulldoggy 
I’ve lost two pairs to Zoey
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Oh, no! MoonCat would climb up beside my bed after I was asleep and I would awaken to the ear pieces covered in teeth marks.
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