I am Stella, Queen of the Olde English Bulldogges. IT’S A PARTY!
Tiger: We had a party yesterday, remember? Not so great!
Me: This is going to be way better.
Stella: Yeah, no squirrels are coming! Haven’t you seen how Lady Human kept checking the front door and looking and going back and checking? It’s all in that box right there!
Miss Sweetie: What? What? What?
Me: It will take a couple of minutes for me to set this up. Mind you, this is going to be done in an orderly manner.
Doodlebug: Awww. That doesn’t sound like a party at all.
Me: I have six brand new chew toys here. I am setting them out in a row. There are five of you. Each of you will get to pick one toy, starting with the oldest first.
Wiggles: But you said all the toys are new. How can we tell which one is oldest?
Me: The oldest bulldog, Wiggles. That means Stella.
Stella: Lady Human, how rude!
Me: Sorry, Hon. We’re dealing with a fact here. Okay, head on over and make your pick.
Stella: Mmmm. This one.
Me: Like the old red and white one you had. Don’t you want to try something new?
Stella: Nope. Always stick with the reliable.
Me: All right. Pick it up. It’s yours.
Stella: Nope. You pick it up and carry it to my bed. I am the queen.
Me: A thank-you would be nice.
Stella: Yes, it would. But I am patient. I will wait.
Me: Okay, next is Wiggles.
Wiggles: This one!
Me: That was quick. The blue one? Are you sure?
Wiggles: Yep. That one is me all over. Here. I’ll take it now. I’m not snooty like Stella.
Me: Next is Tiger. There are still four left.
Tiger: THIS ONE!
Me: Okay. Why?
Tiger: Can’t you smell it? Chicken flavor! Mine!
Me: Next, Doodlebug!
Miss Sweetie: Awwww. They’ll all be gone by the time it’s my turn!
Me: No, there will still be two left. Doodlebug, what’s your…okay. That seemed decisive.
Doodlebug: Bacon! Mine!
Me: Okay, Sweetie, there is a chicken flavored one and a peanut butter one.
Miss Sweetie: This one. No, that one. No, this one. Oh, I don’t know.
Me: Which one did you like first?
Miss Sweetie: This one.
Me: Peanut butter.
Miss Sweetie: Yesssss! Okay! Mine!
Stella: Pssst! Lady Human! Who’s the last one for?
Me: Pssst! Stella! It’s for you. In memory of your sister, Snoopey. I guess I’m still just used to ordering six of everything. I remember when she came to us, she didn’t even know what a toy was. We gave her a chew stick and she carried it around in her mouth like a cigar and wouldn’t put it down.
Stella: It’s all right. I’ll keep it safe for her. Thank you, Lady Human.
Copyright 2018 H.J. Hill All Rights Reserved.